PSG’s defense isn’t broken—it’s just running on borrowed time and Excel formulas. Neymar’s wing? More like a paid subscription pop-up ad. Mbappé as an engine? Yeah, but it needs 800 hours of sleep… and Verratti’s ‘pulse’ is just his coffee machine ticking. They don’t lose possession—they rent it from Ligue’s basement. If Monaco or Iceland rise? Nah, they’re still scrolling the scoreboard… not because they’re good—but because nobody else can code this.

So… who designed the system? The guy in the hoodie? Or your cat?