When your ‘tactical partner’ forgets defensive duties

As someone who’s modeled 5,000+ match scenarios, I can confirm: the only thing harder than predicting Guardiola’s lineup is finding an eFootball teammate who won’t abandon defense like Arsenal in April.

Pro tip: If their ‘signature move’ is blaming lag for conceding 5 goals, that Star Card might be safer in FIFA’s transfer market.

Drop your worst teammate horror stories below - I’ll analyze them with 94% less judgment than your average Twitter tactician.

Liverpool had 65% possession… and still lost because one cross from Trent Alexander curled into the net at 87’. Not luck. Not strategy. Just pure persistent chaos wrapped in discipline. Everton didn’t need trophies—they needed to outlast pressure like my Irish grandma’s Sunday roast. Data doesn’t speak truth—it screams it. When victory means nothing… but survival? That’s when you become your coach’s whisper.

So… who else thinks winning matters? 🤔 Drop a comment if you’ve ever won with zero shots.